First day back...

Well, it’s here… my first day back to work. It has helped that it’s at the beginning of the month because as long as it was October, November seemed like a ways off. But now we are here and I am slightly heartbroken. I know that I need to go back to work for Cole and for Wyatt and for myself – we wouldn’t be able to manage if I didn’t go back… I still don’t want to though. I feel as comfortable with his daycare plan as a mother can feel – he will be with Wyatt or Wyatt’s mom on Mondays (depending on Wyatt’s schedule), Daycare on Tuesdays & Thursdays, with my mom on Wednesdays, and then home with me on Fridays. He’s not actually starting daycare for another 2 weeks – he’ll be home hanging with his daddy those days. I have just grown so accustom to being the one to give him food when he’s hungry, giggles when he’s funny, hugs and kisses when he’s precious, and all the love I have when he’s upset. In my head I know that Wyatt, my family, his family, and the daycare are all perfectly capable and willing to give him all of these things… it’s just the convincing my heart that is the hard part. My heart thinks that he’s going to cry and wonder where his mommy is because she’s supposed to fix everything. I know this sounds super selfish and conceited - like I am the only one able to provide for him. I think it’s just a natural feeling for a mom leaving her baby for the first time.
Now, having completed my first day, I can say that it was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I dropped Cole off at my mom’s this morning and he hung out with his Aunt Peedie until lunchtime. I was able to swing by at lunch to feed him and love on him. Wyatt got there around the same time and took him home for the rest of the day. It was a great thing for Cole to be able to spend some time with Wyatt alone. When I’m home it’s just too easy for me to grab him up when he cries rather than let Wyatt work it out. This has been a learning experience for all 3 of us. Wyatt is an amazing father and his son truly loves him. It’s a joy to see.