Dear Mr. Bruegger's Bagels Man,

Please explain to me why, at 12pm on a Wednesday, your fine establishment would be out of plain bagels? Garlic/oregano/parmesan cheese specialty bagels, I can understand that you might not have those on hand. Plain bagels - unacceptable. What's even more unacceptable is that you were not in the process of creating more... trust me, I asked. Turns out, your ovens weren't even on and would need to heat up before a batch could even begin to bake (apparently a process that takes quite a while - also a process that no one seemed eager or willing to start).
So, Mr. Bruegger's Bagels Man, I blow my nose at you for not having the plain bagel that this pregnant lady has been dreaming about all morning. I fart in your general direction for not offering any attempt at coming up with a solution. But most importantly, I will probably be back tomorrow so please have some plain bagels on hand... please.