!@#$%^&*!

*** WARNING ***

This does not count as our 39 week post and may be too graphic/personal for some family members, small children, and/or men.

Vent starting... NOW -

We met with the new doctor in our office today. She came in, seemed super nice and excited to meet us. She called me Mary even though Catron is written in big letters at the top of my chart and all of my pages. She asked a couple questions about how I was feeling. She made some chipper comment about us finally being full term which I thought was slightly odd but whatever. She checked the heartbeat and managed to find the one place that made it sound like it wasn't beating very strong... she smiled and said it sounded great. She then began the internal exam. I think she might have been confused as to whether she was supposed to check my cervix or my vocal cords. After about 2 minutes of rooting around she asks me if I could put my hands under my hips. I do this while wondering if it's possible to lose one's cervix. She then informs me that my cervix is still very far back, maybe a fingertip dilated. She also informs me in her sing-song voice that nothing is going to be happening any time soon, "hee hee hee". Once I get further along my cervix will come forward and internals won't be as painful. She then signs off on my chart and says, "We'll see you in a week."

Once she is out of the room Wyatt asks me if I'm ok. I nod as he has to help me off of the table. He asks if I'm disappointed and I say a little... I feel like the 39 week appointment should contain more than that, especially if we haven't made much progress. He asks if it hurt and I tell him that I think those internals must be the reason she works out at the gym... hell yes it hurt! I have had several internals so far, my first one being at 26 weeks and the doctors have NEVER had such a hard time "finding" my cervix or letting me know it's status. I also told him that I really didn't appreciate her sounding so chipper about "nothing happening any time soon" but that we were making great progress. Now if you recall, last week we were 50% effaced and thinning well and Crumb was at 0 station. This doctor was now congratulating me on being almost 50% effaced at -2 station... did she really just say congratulations on going backwards?? I realize that Aug. 6th is an estimated due date and all of that but I just didn't think that was something you should say to a woman in her 39th week of pregnancy. So, I got home, pouted for a little while about the lack of progress and then got over it. I didn't get over the whole "off" feeling I got from this doctor though. I went back to look at my chart and BAM, the nurse that had checked me in put down that I was just now 37 weeks!! That would explain why she said that we were just now full term, why she would dare giggle about nothing happening any time soon, and why she would just say we'll see you next week like it was no big deal. This also made me realize that she must not have even read the previous notes in my file - hints why she called me Mary (Catron wasn't written on the page she was writing on), why she congratulated us on our progress when in fact she had just told us we were going backwards, etc.

We went to dinner with my family and they got me laughing like I knew they would. I'm feeling much better but I am going to call the office tomorrow to let them know that "this just won't do". I know that being 39 weeks vs 37 weeks won't change my progress but whatever... I've been saving my monumental pregnancy hormone blow up for this long... I think I've earned the right to use it.

Vent over.

Thanks,